Thursday, April 3, 2008

The horror, the horror.

Day 108 of my captivity. Last night started out normal enough. I wanted in, cried at the door, was allowed entrance. I wanted out, scratched on the furniture, was let out. This went on about 20 times, just to show her that I was THE CAT.

Then around midnight, as I was gorging myself on the disgustingly addictive cabinet kibbles, my captor reached in to snatch me. I tried to evade, but was unsuccessfully thwarted as the two mongrels cornered me. I was carried to the door and so rudely flung outside into the dark of night. The lights went out and despite my desperate screams, I was not allowed back in. Soon, the rain came and wouldn’t stop until morning. I had no choice, but to find a safe dry place to wait it out. This haven happened to be under the concrete stairs where I commonly look for mice, although, this night there were none to be found.

Morning came; the world was still sopping wet. I was cold, wet, and hungry since my midnight snack had been interrupted. The door swung open, and the two huge monsters ran out. As they were distracted hiking a leg on the basil, my informal plant breath mint, I saw my opportunity to sneak back in. I craned m neck out, the coast was clear; I sprinted back to the safety of the safety of the food filled cabinets. I hadn’t realized quite how hungry I was until the first nugget had hit my delicate pallet.

Just then, the cabinet doors flung open and she grabbed me! I squirmed, but then was shoved into a small bag, trapped. I could hear her calling the mongrels, lock the door, and get into a car. What was happening? Where was I going? Why?

Soon the car stopped. It was pouring down rain now. She was a fool if she was going to brave the downpour, especially with me in it! She did.

I was carried like a football as she bounced through the rain. Then it all stopped. As she talked with some unknown human, I poked my head out to have a peek around. I was horrified! This was the same place I was two weeks before when they stabbed me with needles and extracted my urine. What fate was I in for this time? I was to soon find out. She left me, shoved into a cold metal cage. A few hours into my solitary incarceration, someone came to stab me with a needle. Whatever was in it knocked me plum out.

I was groggy when I awoke. Felt woozy, like I’d been spun in circles, and never more famished in my life. I staggered to stand, but was sore from whatever experimental procedure they had preformed (since Ross has eliminated Small Animal Surgery from the curriculum, see petition), then I laid down to sleep.

Later, my captor was back. I couldn’t believe how excited I was to see her. All I could think of is how I wanted to be out of this place. The one who stabbed me with the needle came in. She told my captor that the experimental anesthesia had worked smoothly. Ah ha! I knew they were experimenting on me, a poor defenseless animal!

This time I was loaded into a pet carrier, rather than a bag, and taken home. I took a nosedive into the kibble bowel, gorging myself. It was then that I noticed it!

Too terrible to think possible, what horror do you think had befallen me? I think the dogs may have been involved.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Poor emasculated kitty. Should I imagine that "The End" by The Doors was playing while this was happening, a la Apocalypse Now?