Saturday, March 29, 2008

Mango the Mouser

Born on the 19th of September, 2007, I came to my current residence a mere 103 days prior to now.

This captor is worse than the one previously. She continues to brutally toss me outside into the cold, cruel night… sometimes alone! Try as I might to return to safety, two monster mongrels guard the door, often pinning me to the floor!

I’d relocate if I weren’t addicted to the dry nuggets that are kept in the cabinet. The mongrels receive moist, cooked chunks that are far superior in quality to my simple nuggets, no doubt designed to thwart my spirit. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I am occasionally able to sneak a bite of these superior quality provisions.

In an attempt to show the mutts my ferociousness, last week I decapitated a lizard, leaving it at the door for all to see. To my horror, no one noticed, so this week I wanted to try with something larger, a mouse perhaps?

Last night as I waited for my captor to return home, I saw my opportunity: a small mouse scurrying about the garden. I deftly incapacitated him! He was not a hard catch for a professional such as myself. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. My plan was again ruined by my captor, as my mouse was taken from me and dismissively tossed away!

To show my distain I yowled loudly through out the night. Eventually I chose to enter the abode, sans the mongrels, who were patrolling the yard. Starving, I ate my fill of nuggets, then curled up on my place among the covers and legs. I will make another attempt next week, and each week after, if I must, to prove to them that I am a cat!

Ahem, let's make that 2 mice in 2 days! Hear me MEOW!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter Egg Sky

This was actually taken several months ago, but sure is pretty. It's the real view from my house. It's like this fairly often, ie spectacular. Amazing how Heaven (St. Kitts/Paradise) and Hell (Ross/this semester of vet school) can be in the same place.

It's raining right now. Mango is passed out next to me, and I have a snoring dog on either side of the bed. Bacteriology test is Tuesday (I'm so not motivated). Last week was Pharmacology and Neurology. Week before was Virology and Pathology. ONE more month until our 2 week Spring Break, then 4th semester starts. I have quite a bit of exams between now and then, so maybe I shouldn't be so optimistic. I've also started drinking coffee (Godiva brand to accompany my expensive taste). I'm losing my $13,000/semester tan. Have a plan to counter act that little problem though; will post answer soon.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

An Earwig Perhaps?

When I woke up on Wednesday my right ear started to bleed profusely and wouldn't stop. I went to the nurse and she scheduled an apointment for a dr. Dr said no infection, looks bruised. Just bruised? I have no idea how the inside of my ear, barely in front of my ear drum, can get bruised. My friend told me about Earwigs that burrow into the brains of humans through the ear and therein lay their eggs. So I looked it up online and found this:

The Texas Department of Agriculture in cooperation with the Department of Health has issued a warning surrounding earwig infestations in the state. The earwig is a small insect, with forceps-like antennae, many jointed feelers and a pincher-like beak at the end of it’s tail. They mate in the cooler days of autumn and prefer to engage their mating behavior on vegetables of the squash and gourd variety. During the Halloween season, pumpkins are of particular concern for transmission of these parasites to humans.

These insects are quite insidious, the fertilized female will attach herself to hair, clothing and/or skin, and under the cover of darkness wend her way into the ear canal, burrowing then through the middle and inner ear to the brain. Upon reaching the brain, the earwig first severs the cranial nerve, which serves as both a blessing and a curse to the victim. Whereas the victim suffers no pain thereafter, the victim is also unaware of the progressive degeneration of cerebral tissue.

Over the course of several days, the female burrows a network of tunnels through the temporal and frontal lobes of the brain, implanting her eggs as she digs along. After she has deposited her entire brood of approximately 1000 eggs, she emerges in the sinus cavity where she expires. The eggs hatch after about 4 days of incubation. Immediately after they pass through the pupae stage, about 2 days later, each larva burrows further into the brain, shredding brain tissues and consuming it for nourishment. The victim will usually die a horrible and debilitating death about a week later as the larvae reach maturity.

The entire process of host infestation to host death spans only about 2 weeks, so recognizing the symptoms and seeking treatment is of immediate concern.

If you experience any of the following symptoms, seek medical attention immediately: Bleeding from the ears, fever over 103 F for more than a day, heart palpitations, migraine-like headaches and/or sudden speech impairment.

This is an old wives' tale. But check out the links, it's pretty cool. Earwigs are neither carnivorous nor parasitic. I see them in my garden all the time, so when I was reading about them online, I was almost in tears laughing. It's amazing what some people think, and I know I'm gullible.

I also have tiny spots on my left index finger. As though something is eating my left index finger. There are little holes in it, but it doesn't hurt. I have no idea what that is, so I asked the dr. Dr didn't have a clue either and just gave me a strange look... the type of look that says this person should be locked up for their own good! My guess is that I picked up a fungal or bacterial infection from digging in the dirt. Could be viral. Friend suggested (same friend) leprosy, which happens to be on this island. I doubt it only because the early stages of leprosy tends to cause nerve problems in your hand way before it rots off.

Seems I've picked up yet another unknown jungle bug. Trying to stay well though.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Garden

I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but I started a garden when I first got down here. It consisted of a few onions and misc tomato and other seeds in an ice cube tray on my balcony. It failed miserably. I'm awful with plants.

When I moved to my current apartment, I asked the landlord if I could dig up the weeds and make a garden on either side of the walk way. He, of course, was thrilled with the idea that someone else would make the yard look decent. I started on the far side, to the left of my door as you'd look out. I also filled up two large (25 gallon) containers with water and placed water lilies (acquired from school) in them. They have lilac blooms and have attracted tiny thumb nail sized frogs. I put a few little fish (also acquired from school) in them to eat the mosquitoes. It's also a good out door place for the koi when I change their water.

After I got that side growing, I started on the other. My plan was to make a small quarter circle with golf course grass in between the rocks so that the door could open and shut easily without getting stuck or ruining my plants. I got the rocks (and plenty more) from tilling up the soil. I've never seen so many rocks or trash in one spot. I also put in the walk way through the middle of the "gardens" to keep people from stepping on my plants.

As you can see, I've successfully convinced several plants to grow and many more weeds. I'm going to try to make these picts as small as possible to fit them on the page, so if you want to really see them (cuz they're so pretty) then click on the image.

My favorite plant is basil. It's so green and every time the dogs or I barely brush past it, its scent fills the yard.

The dill might be my next favorite because it's almost blue. The dill looks so delicate and yet so ornate with it's branching, almost like a tiny tree.

I also have parsley growing, but it's the smallest. I wanted to get cilantro to grow as well, but it hasn't decided to yet. I use parsley and cilantro the most in my cooking.

Other than herbs, I planted several vegetables and flowers. The two zucchini plants died, but I didn't mind because they almost took over and had massive flowers. The carrots are in the first green picture on the right along wit some juicy lettuce. The best vegetables so far have been radishes and lettuce. There is one radish that got a little too much Miracle Grow, because it's a Godzilla radish about the size of my fist and tall enough to reach my knee. It's flowering too. The left is a picture of it and a picture of lettuce flowering. Note the red stem on the super radish.

I think I also have tomatoes growing. They are hidden by the soon to be blue Morning Glorys. No one mentioned Morning Glorys were vines!!! They've taken over and fight with each other. I spent hours last weekend untangling them. I bought some wire mesh to make a cage for them. You'd think they were critters!

From campus I harvested a ton of Xmas Palm tree seeds. It's taken weeks, but as of today, 5 are working their way up!!! They're barely 2 inches tall! Very cute! This also tells met that dad's weeds of Xmas Palms had to be undisturbed for months to grow to be a foot tall.

To shade a lot of the other plants, I've used okra. The okra grows quickly and give a lot of cover because of its tall stature and broad leaves. There is my shortest okra with the grill in the background. I'm not quite sure how it got on this side because I only planted okra on the other side, not to mention this would be up hill if water flow. I have the suspicion that a four legged fuzzie moved it.

Speaking of four legged fuzzies, here are the kitties in the garden! Note how massive the Morning Glory's are.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Happy Birthday DAD!

It's Dad's turn to be embarassed on his birthday! He was born in 1949, making him 59! That's like almost 60 which is really old!

Well hope you get the card I sent. Sent one for Linda too! Say hi to the bird for me!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

In Search of MEAT

Friend of mine got a craving for steak the other day so we drove to every store in town to buy some beef. Turned out there was a beef shortage.

The last supermarket we went to was kinda shady but they tend to have more ethnic foods, more frozen foods (or at least they're frozen now), as well as other useful goods (storage bins, pots, pans, pitchers, baskets, trash cans, etc). We had to look through the meat section rather thoroughly to find some heavily frozen sirloin steaks. She settled with a pair of very freezer burned vacuum-packed sirloins ($12EC each). I opted for pork ribs ($15EC for a rack).

I grabbed some fresh charcoal and we went to my apartment to grill. She call’s it BBQ-ing, but she’s from New York. They all call anything on the grill BBQ. What I would do for some good ol’ Texas BBQ.

I’m getting quite hooked on ribs and pork chops. Have made a lot of Jewish friends here. They don’t eat pork… with out a lot of peer pressure, that is. It’s like Baptists and booze.

We traded: one of my ribs for a cube of her steak (she's not Jewish by the way). The sirloin was surprisingly tender. As she put it: the meat had nothing to accentuate but itself. it was delicious! *drool*. Funny how I never grilled back home; I find myself grilling here every week. Guess I have more time in a way now.

AI Clinic

Over the weekend I attended a certification class on how to artificially inseminate cows. Yup, breeding cows minus the bull. Let me assure you, it’s a lot easier having a bunch of bull around; let me walk you through the process:

1. First and foremost, wear clothes you are willing to get filthy. I mean way more dirty than you could ever imagine. Clothes that you’d be okay to smear cow shit all over and stain forever.

2. Prepare your AI gun which looks like an extended metal coat hanger. The semen straw in the liquid nitrogen storage container must be thawed without touching it or taking it out of the tank. Once this is accomplished, it must be thawed at precisely 95°F water in a thermal mug for 45 seconds. Then stroke your AI gun to warm the metal; not doing so kills your spermies. Wipe your semen strawoff gently with a paper towel and pop it into your gun. Cut the top off and place the “sheath” over the entire gun to hold the straw in place. Now your gun is loaded and ready to go. Put your gun full of semen (and here’s the good part) down the front of your shirt tucked into your pants to keep it warm. (Don’t worry mom, I’m not pregnant.)

3. Now you need to get a really really big glove. No really, a glove that goes over your entire arm up to your shoulder. (Seam side inward for the cow please.) It’s also a good idea to clamp your glove to your collar with something like forecepts. (They chose not to inform us of this on the first day, SO our gloves fell and are arms were covered in …)

4. Get a second, normal glove for your right hand and shove a bunch of paper towels into your pocket. Walk over to the industrial sized container of KY and pump enough out to smear over your left (gloved) arm and hand. The more the better.

5. Find a cow in heat. This is generally easier if someone supplies you with one.

6. Shove your entire left arm up the cow’s butt. The cow will poop on you at this point. If you press down, she’ll pee too.

7. Feel around (blindly) for internal female parts through her rectum. It’s been likened to an electric cord with a turkey neck in the middle. I assure you this is not accurate and near impossible to find. It gets worse.

8. Poke the AI gun that you’ve been warming in your shirt into the cow’s female parts at a 45° angle, and once in, go straight (0°) until you hit a dead end.

9. Wiggle the turkey neck around the AI gun with your left arm in the squirming cow’s rectum until it goes through. Talk about impossible.

10. Now that you’re “in” (the uterine body) unload the spermies into the cow. Pull the AI gun out, and hope you don’t have to “do it” again in 3 weeks. (FYI: Cow’s cycle every 21 days, humans cycle every 28 days.)

Alternate method: BUY A BULL and let him do all the work. I see this as a two fold benefit: the cow enjoys the bull more than she enjoys you no matter how skinny your arm is, and you don’t have to shove your arm up a cow.

Honestly it really wasn’t so bad. I’ve done similar things to horses to preg check; cows are just messier. Have to say, my whole body ached the first day; don’t even want to imagine how the cows felt. My first day was unsuccessful with 5 or 6 cows (we had 20 cow options) over 6 hours. The second day, another 6 hours, I was able to get 3 done I think. Sufficed to say I’ll be charging a lot for this service if your not my really good friend. The guy that taught the course (from Select Sires) said guys who do this for a living take ~30 seconds per cow! And get paid $7 per cow! Personally, I think that sounds great, although I’m sure with practice I’ll get better.